I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We talked him into tasing himself.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
