I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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