Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
