All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just pee around me
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
