ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
