Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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