Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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