i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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