one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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