cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
