theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
