haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
