i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
