And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
