So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
