Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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