even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
