but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
