Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
