seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
