Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
