So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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