its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
