it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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