people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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