I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
