she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
