You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
