i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
