It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
