I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
