what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
