The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
