It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there's paper in my vomit.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
