and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
