Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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