Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have aggressive nipples.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
