thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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