I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
