so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
