i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
