need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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