In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
