If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
