Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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