I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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