We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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