So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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