Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
