Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
