At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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